Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
