I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
