I wish I could teleport
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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