I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
