even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
