mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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