i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
