If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dignity is for republicans.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
