We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
