yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
honey bunches of taint.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
