I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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