worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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