she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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