the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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