it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
