And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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