P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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