Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
