I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
