Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just had sex on a roof
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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