i think my tv is drunk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
