I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
