I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
