so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We left an ass print on the piano.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
