I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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