She tied me up with her honor cords...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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