They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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