So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
