turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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