i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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