He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
