If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
