do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
