What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
