Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
