Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
