i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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