she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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