Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
