Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
