worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
