Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So much rum. So many feels.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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