Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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