I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
