i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
