We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
