and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
