im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
