The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
