I'm gonna have a badass scar
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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