no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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