He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
