Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
