ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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